I’m Going to be a “Bad Mom” This Christmas!

Written By: Jessica Cook

It took a Mom’s night out to make me realize I was doing Christmas all wrong!

I mean, it’s not like there is really a right or wrong way to do Christmas. I’m just saying, for my family, I’m doing it all wrong. I’m expecting to much from them during the holidays. Between the endless holiday themed events, baked goods for every person we know, the perfectly decorated house and wrapped gifts. I’ve lost sight of just spending time with the ones I love and reminding them of what the real meaning of Christmas is.

Every year we bring out the Christmas decorations and tree, the day after Thanksgiving. I guess you could blame the next part on my upbringing, but I suffer from P.O.P.D. (Perfect Ornament Placement Disorder). I blame this on my mother!!! The kids are not allowed to touch the tree, aside from their special ornaments, when it comes time to decorating. Even during the few times that I have allowed my daughter to help, we ended up fighting and she would stomp away. What kind of fun is that for them? What do I gain from having a perfectly decorated tree? Absolutely nothing! So this year I am handing the tree decorating over to my kids. I will most likely consume large amounts of wine while I sit back and cringe at their ornament placement. But gosh darn it, I’m going to do it!

My daughter came to me this year to say she was to old to attend our yearly “tradition” of the Nutcracker.  My oldest son has also informed me that he is to old for Santa pictures, holiday crafts and Toby our elf. Excuse me while I hide in the closet and cry! They have been saying this to me for a couple of years now, and yet I still forced the activities onto them.  I was bitter and moody at first, but then came to the realization that now I can enjoy Christmas with them in a more grown up way. Besides, I still have my six year old to enjoy those “traditions” with. So, I’ve passed along the family Elf to my oldest children. Goodbye are the nights of waking up at 2:00 am in a panic, because I forgot to move the elf!  They are excited and have already come up with fun activities for the elf to do.

Holiday concerts, Christmas parties, Holiday events and so on. I’m always trying to drag the kids to every possible Holiday themed activity I can find. I tell myself, it’s because we are making holiday memories. In reality I’m over doing it and we all end up exhausted by the time Christmas has finally arrived. So this year, I’m allowing them to decide. If they would like to go look at lights, we will go look at lights. If they want to go look at fake snow, then we will go look at fake snow. I am no longer planning out their weekends and cramming their Holiday break with events.

Much to my extended families dismay, we have decided to go away for Christmas this year. I came home one day and decided I wanted to see snow for Christmas. My kids and husband have been asking for a couple of years now to go away. I always turned them down, because I said we had “traditions” to uphold with our extended family. I finally realized it’s about the five of us. It’s about the memories we create with each other. Our kid’s are getting so big and time is flying by.  I wanted to offer my kids an experience for Christmas, rather than a bunch of random gifts they do not need. We will be taking off to stay in a cabin the week of Christmas just the five of us and I couldn’t be happier. I feel relaxed and at peace with the decision.

So this year, I am going to do less of what I THINK is expected of me during the holiday season and more of what my kid’s actually WANT to do! In the words of the Bad Mom’s cast, “I’m taking back Christmas this year!”

th

Happy Holidays from my family to yours!!! 

 

 

Simplistic little “me”

Hello? Is it me you’re looking for….

Let’s talk about that word. ME.
Such a short, simple word. But is it simple?
For moms, at least this mom, thats a hard NO.

It’s so easy to lose yourself in this parenting job. Everyone else comes first. Always.
I’ve found myself going without even when we have the means, and the time (rarely). We go without sleep, showers (shaving), hot food, clean clothes…. all while functioning solely because of the coffee we reheated 3 times and then drank cold because we finally gave in to reality.

We are the center of the whole family! Why should we go without?

I’ve been on a ME kick lately. On a normal basis, I would feel guilty about this but guess what?? I DON’T!! I deserve it. I’m worth it.

I have been neglecting myself for far too long. I’m a mommy of 2. I’m done having kids (hubs got snipped). I’m done with the Mom rut. So, so done.

My daughter recently wanted to look through my Instagram photos, so we did. We looked back to before my second kid when I had gotten my groove back, we looked alllllll the way back to before ANY kids. I was cute! I dressed nice, I wore makeup and did my hair and felt good about myself. I took selfies. A Lot of selfies. But they were cute!
I went back to that current day, month, few months, year….. no selfies. No photos of me AT ALL except for when my mom visited last April.
What the heck??? Where AM I?
Seriously, where am I? I’ve lost myself for a second time.

I’d been putting off buying new glasses because someone else always needed something. Still wearing undies from before kid #1, haven’t had my hair done since I was pregnant with my second who is about to be a year old….

Here’s what I did.

 

4DF5AD18-4D14-4F36-B04F-4FA1F0F14EC2

“For the first time in forever….”

I got new glasses.
I bought new mf panties.
I did my hair!!!!
I got some new clothes and revamped my closet (see previous blog post).
I made plans for myself with no kids (this is almost as big as the panties, y’all).

ME, ME, ME!!!!

47720918-8E2E-4BC7-8B05-B02E43FF48E5

There is nothing wrong with doing me.
I’m going to KEEP doing me.

No more losing myself. I may not be the same exact person I was before kids (I certainly do not strive to be that version of myself), but it’s high time I figured out who I am NOW. Today.

I’m not JUST a mom. (Even though I love being a mom). It does not fully define me, AND THAT IS OKAY.

 

 

Becky Phillips
Stay at home mom of 2

1731A1BA-0CAA-4763-968A-4450E3E76194

You can find more of my posts on Workingwifemommalife.wordpress.com

 

 

Some of Everyday Moms Favorites!

 

 

About Toffee Traditions:

Our Toffee Tradition Started over 40 years ago.  Born and raised in Hyde Park in Tampa, FL.  Our family had a tradition that became my favorite childhood tradition.  As a young girl I cooked next to my mother in the kitchen making our gourmet toffee.  The Aromas filled the house and this time was a special time that I looked forward to and loved.  As the years went by I continued the tradition with my own children teaching them the secrets of making this delectable dessert.  Our families classic was chocolate pecan toffee.  I have made this family favorite of mine many times over the years handing out for gifts to friends, teachers and family.  Our company has created new flavors for sharing.  I have always been talked into selling my toffees.  Today I am thrilled to Own Toffee Tradition & Treats.  It has been a great Journey.  I am happy to share my joy of baking with the many return customers and friends I have made along the way.  I invite you to join the Family Tradition.

  • Fresh handmade buttery toffees
  • Gluten free option
  • No preservatives
  • Small batches
  • Finest ingredients

 

Please like us on Facebook.  You can find our Facebook page here.

toffeetradition@gmail.com

14910369_355629311459773_5462503186953665541_n14938126_355629181459786_7413178915794268819_n14993380_355629161459788_7174656684983277097_n22405894_536303933392309_3750549782961931827_n

About Remi’s Minis:

Remi, our family pit bull, was originally found by Hillsborough County Animal Services. He had been tied to a tree and sustained severe injuries from being shot in the head and face over 30 times with a BB gun! This resulted in him having to have his right eye removed. Normally, because of the false reputation that the media has placed on his breed, Remi would have just been “put down”. However, our friends at The Humane Society of Tampa Bay decided to take a chance on him. They performed the necessary surgeries, after care, and training only to put him up for a second chance at life!

My wife and I believe that pets come into our lives at just the right time, for just the right moment. This fateful encounter can either serve to rescue us from personal tragedies, or in most cases, allows us to rescue animals from tragic situations.

In 2013, my wife Christy went to the Humane Society with a co-worker to support her in finding a puppy. While there, she saw (and instantly fell in love with) Remi. He was sitting there with a cone on his neck, fresh from surgery, and he looked so dejected and lonely in his kennel. She sent me his picture and asked to bring him home.

We officially adopted Remi on Valentine’s Day. This was perfectly fitting for such a lovable dog. Remi is a lover, not a fighter. He is the most docile, easy-going dog. He is quick to look for praise, oftentimes placing his muzzle in my hand during walks. He loves nothing more than to climb in bed with our daughters, snuggle right up to them, and be covered up for the night. We are quick to include Remi in any family activities and take pride in telling his story explaining that dogs, like people, should not be stereotyped.

We love to use Remi’s story as a teaching tool for our kids. We often tell them that sometimes we (people and pets) will have to endure bad things in life that we have no control over. But, out of these trials there can be joy at the end of the rainbow! Because of his unfortunate circumstances, we were able to give him a new life where he is beyond spoiled. Remi brought with him a sense of being able to overcome insurmountable odds and a new outlook on life. To this day, his situation still reminds us that things will always get better.

http://www.remisminis.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pg/RemisMinis/about/?ref=page_internal

21688497_1490779141010906_1671578983436669042_o21317661_1477181235704030_6616665972499543182_n20708362_1451646758257478_667930097795209296_n19577311_1430782383677249_5399643659371039699_o

Soul Sister Connection

Most days we go about our mom business as usual; cooking, cleaning, teaching, organizing, and planning. Some days we get together with the kids, letting them play and explore while we talk about current events, ideas, and things we want to do in the future. Then there are the days we need to escape the routine, yet we can’t. 

Those are the days when a simple text alerts our soul sister that we’re having a rough day. It might be a kid, the husband, a parent, or the monthly PMS monster. It’s the moment when we just need to know that someone else understands the weight of it all. So we reach to our soul sister and she responds. She gets it. She hears us. 

We are still the mom, the wife, the daughter, the responsible party that holds it all together; but deep down we need to be heard as a sister, a friend, a person in need. That’s when soul sisters connect to feel loved by someone, for just a moment, when nobody else can seem to fill that void. 

It’s not that the others don’t love us, it’s just that we are in a moment of need that the others don’t see. It’s the moment that we reach out to be heard by someone else who understands, even when no explanation is given. After a good venting, a good cry, a brief connection, we go on about our day again to take care of the others who are oblivious to what just happened. 

Without a soul sister, some days would be even harder. Today, I’m thankful for mine. A simple message to let me know that I’ve been heard and understood. 

Don’t have a soul sister? Reach out, because maybe she’s looking for you too. 



About me..

EVERYDAY MOMS CONTRIBUTOR, CHRISTINA EDWARDS, REALTOR®

I am a homeschooling mom of a kindergartner and have been with my husband for 17 years. As a life-long resident of Hillsborough County, it wasn’t until after I had my son that my love for this area was truly realized. Motherhood brought life experiences to a new level; with so much to do here and with community connections growing stronger than ever, this is a wonderful place to call home. I am a USF graduate with a background in business finance and new-build construction. As a local Mom and Realtor® with Keller Williams Realty, I am able to share my love and knowledge of the entire Tampa Bay Area with you!