Snip, clip, burn….


If you thought a man cold was bad….

After our second child, hubby decided he was going to get a vasectomy. All on his own, he made this decision. So, I called insurance to verify it was covered and paid for, I filled out the paperwork, I scheduled the appointment….After he told me I was procrastinating on getting it done.
(Love having to do EVERYTHING for my husband)
Once I told him when the appointment was scheduled for, he says under his breath “I don’t know why I have to get snipped…”
WHAT??? He’s the one that made the decision to get it done. All him. I even asked him if this was definitely what he wanted to do in case we wanted another baby later on. But now I’m forcing him to get it done…

So, here we are on the way to his appointment. He’s saying “I’m nervous, I just don’t know what to expect…” yeah, I feel you. I gave birth twice. Once with no drugs.
We get there. He goes back and has to put on the jock strap before they start for some reason.
Meanwhile, the guy that went before him walks out all normal. “Oh I didn’t feel anything. Didn’t even smell them burning it!” I’m thinking great! This won’t be a big deal…

He worked himself up sooooooo much that he had the table drenched in sweat. My husband isn’t a big sweater. He works outside in the Florida heat. The doctor had to get him a soda (for the sugar) so he didn’t pass out. Yeah, I know… pansy.
He walks out all limpy and acting like he’s been thoroughly beaten. Hobbles to the car, and lays back in the seat. On the way home he’s telling me, “oh I felt pressure, and they had to stick a needle down there…” AGAIN, I feel you. Just gave birth with no drugs and had a needle stuck in my vagina for stitches….
We get home and he says “I’m scared to poop, it’s the same muscle…” FIRST OF ALL… is it the same muscle? SECOND, try taking your first poop after pushing a baby out your vagina. THAT is the same muscle, but what do I know.
Day 1, laying around all day, ok. We expected this because sure, they tell you to recline and hang out the first day. But the direction wasn’t to not move the rest of the day.
After asking me for a million things he asks me if he’s being too needy.

I felt the need to be honest, here. I said “yes, you are because after giving BIRTH you expect me to function at 100%. You don’t ask how I’m feeling or offer to do anything to help me. All you had was a small procedure done.”

I left to pick up dinner and by the time I got back he seemed to have changed his tune.

The biggest thing I learned from this experience is that after watching me give birth twice. Once while screaming in pain because I was unmedicated, my husband STILL doesn’t think I’m a badass. After reading the articles that compare child birth pain to every bone in your body being broken at the same time, he still doesn’t think I’m a badass….

But getting a little tiny snip, clip, burn is the end of the world.

ZERO sympathy from your non-badass wife.

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