I fear I have lost my creative edge yet I am unsure as to what needs to happen, at this time, in order to get it back. I will never give up my pursuit of acting, now that I have a small child, even though it’s far different than the pursuit in LA.
I need to be creative and express myself but have not yet found the right showcase in which to do so. In thr back of my mind, I feel as if I’m being held back due to a full time job and barely having family tI me in evenings. As I write this I realize that these are silly excuses. If something is fulfilling to me,then that is all the more reason to pursue it. It will give me my creative spark back and it’seems something I can expose Cooper too, with the hopes that he will also develop some of my interests. It could be our “thing” and a shared interest. That’s moving way too far ahead but it helps to give some hope and perspective.
I want to be the mom who is always there for her child, however it makes me a better person and mom if I continue to explore other passions as well. I just have to do so with confidence and not feel guilty. That might be the biggest test of all but it’s something I definitely need. It’s important to never lose sight of your own hopes and dreams even while raising a family. Otherwise once the kids are gone, it will be even harder to get back into and then the passion may be gone. We need a spark…a light…something that adds to our lives and makes us better parents overall.
I miss my previous life pursuing acting but known that it’s not over yet….only if I let it and that is not going to happen anytime soon! It’s time to stop convincing myself and just get out there and do it. I’ve got a lot of people left to entertain and make laugh!