An Open Letter to my Child who I had as a Teen

Written By: Regan Burke

Dear daughter,


Yes I was a teen mom. By law I was an adult but in reality, I know now that I basically a big kid. I was responsible when it came to some aspects of life, but still very selfish in other ways. Yes, you were a surprise, but all these years later I know, despite the pros and cons of having you young, you were my destiny.

You’re a teen now. I was so young when I brought you into this world. I had no idea what I was doing. I received scolding, advice, and sometimes pity as I walked around with my round belly and visibly noticeable youth. I wanted to prove that I was wise enough to do be a mother. I thought I made the right decisions for your well-being over the years even though I constantly questioned every single decision I made (as I should have).  There are so many ups and downs to being a young mom from my perspective that you probably have no idea I think about.

For me, there are a couple of points that cause me to worry:

Sometimes I feel nervous meeting your friends’ parents who are usually 10 or more years older than me. I feel scared that they will judge you and our home life because I could pass for your much older sister. That may not be the case, but none the less, it’s a fear of mine. 

Sometimes we relate a little too much… We listen to similar music and share (some) clothes. Am I someone who hasn’t grasped my mid-thirties yet or am I where I am supposed to be? I just don’t know!

I also think there are some pros which you probably would consider cons on your end.

I am not that disconnected with how teenagers operate. Sure, you may fool me from time to time, but as I’ve mentioned, I will always find out the truth. I do recall the “I’m working late”, the “I’m sleeping over at my friend’s house”, and the many other excuses I used to do whatever it was that was really doing that my parents didn’t really seem to question. In short – don’t try me.

Relatability is also a pro in my book. I love some of our conversations. I love that sometimes we really get each other. I hope that because we relate on many levels, you take my advice more seriously than I did my mom’s. Maybe I’m dreaming but it is my hope that you don’t dismiss my relationship advice as I did with my mom.

Through the ups and the downs, I have loved you dearly. We fight just like any other mom and her teenager, but we have a truly deep connection too. Remember always, that even though every decision I have made wasn’t completely sound, I have learned along the way and I have loved the journey. I love you.





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