Written By: Jennifer Stroble
We’ve all been there. We’ve witnessed. We’ve experienced. We’ve suffered.
There’s always that one time, in the middle of the shopping trip where your kid just loses all his marbles. Seriously. If it were a job, he’d be a top notch actor for his performance.
Walking into Publix, my kid spots a balloon. “MOMMY, LOOK! May I have it? I WANT IT!” As I politely tell him no, and try to continue walking into the store, he starts screaming at me. Not just any scream, but the “I’m dying because I can’t have what I want” scream. At this point I’m not even five feet into the store, and I’m pleading my 4 year old to please put the balloon back. Please.
We’d just come from playing at the park, and I’m assuming my munchkin is hungry. He’s begging and pleading for EVERYTHING. We manage to make it to the deli area, even though he’s still whimpering about that darn balloon. After picking up a few items, he manages to lose his mind again. He’s kicking, and acting as if gravity has just become too much. He’s dropping to the ground, sobbing about this balloon. You’d think this balloon was magical. It was apparently SO special. I still persisted. In order to get any further into the store, I put him into the cart. It only got worse. He’s flailing around like a dead fish at this point. The elderly folk are staring at me like I’m the worst mother alive. I could almost hear their thoughts. “Ugh, look at this young mother. She clearly has no grip on her kids.”
Everyone in the store knew exactly where I was based on where they heard my possessed child screaming. I managed to get to the register, and the bagger was simply trying to put the food back in my cart. My demonic child had no intentions of allowing that, because I didn’t purchase this magical item he wanted. He’s slapping at the bagger, and spreading his legs in the cart to take up as much space as possible.
At this point, I hear people snickering, and employees all have that “OH MY GOD, get her out of here” expression. I wanted out of there as fast as I could, and not just because I was hungry. I pick up Keagan to put him on the floor, and politely ask him to hold my hand.
Big pile of “NOPE”.
He runs away screaming as if someone was trying to abduct him. No one is helping me. Meanwhile I have to stay near my infant in the cart. Keagan was being far too violent in order to manage carrying both. After about five minutes of pure torture for those involved, I managed to get him close enough to grab. I carried him out my hip as I struggled to get myself and the cart to the car.
I thought to myself “It’s over, I survived!” just as the person parked next to me overheard him screeching from his car seat. I thought for sure that this stranger was going to make a snide remark. Instead, they simply said “Been there, done that.” and gave me the sweetest smile. As they walked into the store, they said “It gets better!”
Oh boy, I hope so. Mommy should have bought wine.
I’m Jennifer, a 25 year old mother of two amazing boys. Keagan is four years old, and Oliver will be one in September. I’ve been married five years now, and have grown up in the Brandon area. I am a sarcastic, laid back stay-at-home parent with a hectic lifestyle catering to my children and two rambunctious dogs. Each day I’m simply trying to survive the never-ending ride that is parenthood.